10+ Things no one would tell you about threesomes

One of the most looked-forward-to statements of all time has got to be, "So, I had a threesome last night!”

There is a certain sense of pride and sexual fulfillment that comes with having a ménage a Trois. But sometimes, the truth is more than meets the eye.

You may have watched threesome porn or even heard some exciting stories about the holy grail of sex but the reality behind this fantasy is something we would like to let you know. We would hate to burst your bubble but hey, if you are going in for a threesome, you should brace for impact! (literally … and metaphorically).

Here are 10+ things no one would tell you about threesomes

This is real life…not porn

Just like the shooting scenes in movies are usually blown out of proportion, threesome porn and real life threesomes are miles apart. You have body parts making hilarious fart-like noises when they slap against each other, then there’s the profuse sweating that can get quite uncomfortable, and then you have to re-adjusting positions a lot.

Oh and not to mention that in threesome porn, all parties seem to have a happy ending – at the same time!

Nope…not true in real life.

Quite frankly, you don’t want to record your threesome – the threesome porn videos you see, have cuts and edits!

Get ready to get confused

Halfway through a threesome, you might find yourself quite confused. “Do I raise my legs up?”, “Should I go for a doggy?”

Except you have a blueprint for your three-way (which is a really boring thing to do), be prepared for the confusion that comes with spontaneity – and oh, the awkward pauses.

Have a laugh

This is not love making…it’s a sex spree!

Most women go into threesomes thinking it is about two hung guys loving, adoring and pleasing you – that’s polyandry!

The romance and or affection you see are made for the porn-loving crowd. A threesome is an intense, round the clock experience with body parts coming at you from all angles.

Yup, threesomes are not for the faint of heart.

Go hard or go home.

One of a kind!

It is important to keep attraction in mind. It is easier to have same-sex threesomes such as F/F/F or M/M/M than having a mix.

Things can…no WOULD get really awkward if two people in an F/M/M or an M/F/F threesome are not attracted to each other.

Now one person would have to deal with the pressure of pleasing two people!

That’s right… you didn’t know that, did you?

Keep an open-minded

So you’ve never kissed a girl before… get it there!

A threesome is your chance to break outside that “only kiss guys” comfort zone. However, while you keep an open mind, don’t do anything you might really regret. Don’t go too far into breaking your hard limits until you are sure that you really want to, but do not be afraid to try new stuff.

Do not try to pair off

It doesn’t matter that one person feels or does it better than the other person, leaving out a partner in a threesome is a major buzzkill. Be sure that everyone is actively involved except they ask to watch. Maintain body contact at all times, even if it means you are just touching their chest while your privates and mouth are busy with the other person.

Your mouth will never be closed

And speaking of your mouth doing other things, chances are that during a threesome, your mouth would either be preoccupied with a body part or with loud moaning. So maybe you should Google “mouth exercises” first.

Hope you like body fluids

Okay, it’s not exactly a must-happen but the chances that your body and your bedsheets would not be covered in a mash-up of body fluids are very slim. Be sure to get some tissues by the bed and plan to switch out your sheets the next day.

Boyfriends and BFFs don’t mix

Go best friend! Go best friend! No.

If you are planning on a threesome with your boyfriend, your BFF should not make the list of prospects.

If you decide to go ahead with the partner-BFF combo, don't be surprised when they start hanging out a little too much.

Discuss terms with your partner

So you and your partner have decided to fulfill your fantasies. The first step to take would be to define your ‘hard limits’ before you get in too deep.

Fancy blowjobs, but not so much a fan of penetrations? Make sure your partner knows this and sticks to the rules. Choose a safe word that you and your partner would know when anyone gets uncomfortable. With the success of your first threesome, you can have less stringent rules for next time.

Safety first

Threesome sex is still sex. No matter how much you trust a person, be sure to switch condoms between partners and sex acts and partners. If the awkward pauses here are too much of a worry, use female condoms (FMF).

We apologize if we just ruined your idea of what a threesome should be. But hey, it’s better to know what to look forward to. Check out some of our other posts and you might learn even more about the threesome lifestyle.